I’m not racist but surely allowing glue-sniffing teenagers to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Urinating on the Union Jack is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that glue-sniffing teenagers aren’t urinating on the Union Jack in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police agrees with me, saying today, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.