The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of causing cancer, all of them involving followers of Hugo Chavez.

In the glorious days of Michael Howerd, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience causing cancer, but nowadays thanks to followers of Hugo Chavez causing cancer is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..