The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of burning policemen at the stake, all of them involving hooligans.

In the glorious days of Boris Johnson, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience burning policemen at the stake, but nowadays thanks to hooligans burning policemen at the stake is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Surely something can be done?.