Charlie Harvey

Daily Mail story generator

Another? »
Daily Mail Headline/Logo

Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Thugs have been squatting houses left empty by families on holiday outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The Pope has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Squatting houses left empty by families on holiday: The True Face Of Evil", The Pope says, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for thugs. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.


Refresh/f5 for another daily mail story or maybe Tweet it.
This page uses the Daily Mail headline code by qwghlm. You’d probably like Dan and Dan’s Daily Mail song on youtube.