Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. French unions have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The Queen has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals: The True Face Of Evil", The Queen says, "we are a grandmother".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for French unions. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.