Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) has been perpetrated by Corbynites.

The Mail can reveal that Corbynites are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

David Cameron said of the Corbynites, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".