The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is becoming ever more common, then we learn that followers of Hugo Chavez are causing cancer every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack followers of Hugo Chavez causing cancer was some bloke in the pub who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..