Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of plotting to kidnap a senior royal has been perpetrated by anarchists calling themselves the Wombles.

The Mail can reveal that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium said of the anarchists calling themselves the Wombles, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".