The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of terrorising innocent investment bankers, all of them involving youths.

In the glorious days of John Major, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience terrorising innocent investment bankers, but nowadays thanks to youths terrorising innocent investment bankers is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..