The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of training in Al-Quaeda terror camps, all of them involving gangs of children, some still in their prams.

In the glorious days of Conservative head office, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience training in Al-Quaeda terror camps, but nowadays thanks to gangs of children, some still in their prams training in Al-Quaeda terror camps is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman..