The Mail has learned that Twitter users are responsible for causing cancer.

Has the world gone mad? Twitter users are causing cancer with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Anne Widdecombe, who said "we are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense."