Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy have been urinating on the Union Jack outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Urinating on the Union Jack: The True Face Of Evil", Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously says, "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.