Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by has been perpetrated by young single mothers.

The Mail can reveal that young single mothers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Jeremy Clarkson said of the young single mothers, "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s.".