Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of ripping off hard working families has been perpetrated by communist-sympathisers.

The Mail can reveal that communist-sympathisers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Norman Tebbit said of the communist-sympathisers, "we are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense.".