Sick filth on television, a nanny state, stealth taxes, floods of immigrants and now sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone. Welcome to Broken Britain!

Last Thursday following an intensive 20 minute investigation on Facebook, Conservative head office revealed that Guardian-reading do-gooders have been sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone with impunity.

These misfits surely shouldn’t be allowed in a country that is still ostensibly Christian. Corporal punishment is the only option for Guardian-reading do-gooders.

"That might sound harsh but so is having your children broken into and your house taught to hate itself in the name of multiculturalism in our so-called schools." Conservative head office went on to say.


Conservative head office concluded, "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!".