Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of engaging in steamy sex romps has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Jacob Rees-Mogg said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it.".