The Mail has learned that gangs of black youths are responsible for causing cancer.

Has the world gone mad? Gangs of black youths are causing cancer with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to David Cameron, who said "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals."