Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of binge drinking has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Some bloke in the pub said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".