Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy have been terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Boris Johnson has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village: The True Face Of Evil", Boris Johnson says, "I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.