Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of engaging in steamy sex romps has been perpetrated by Corbynites.

The Mail can reveal that Corbynites are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Boris Johnson said of the Corbynites, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".