The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of reading the works of Karl Marx, all of them involving Guardian-reading do-gooders.

In the glorious days of Anne Widdecombe, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience reading the works of Karl Marx, but nowadays thanks to Guardian-reading do-gooders reading the works of Karl Marx is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Surely something can be done?.