Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow glue-sniffing teenagers such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but glue-sniffing teenagers have this week been revealed as immigrating.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps glue-sniffing teenagers would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of James May who this week said, "new Age travellers? Not in this age. Not in any age. Let others speak for these New Age travellers. We will speak for their victims.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that immigrating is acceptable behaviour.