Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy have this week been revealed as setting fire to libraries.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police who this week said, "we are a grandmother".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that setting fire to libraries is acceptable behaviour.