Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow homosexuals such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but homosexuals have this week been revealed as using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps homosexuals would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Angela Merkel who this week said, "yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is acceptable behaviour.