The Mail has learned that so-called new age travellers are responsible for injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by.

Has the world gone mad? So-called new age travellers are injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to David Cameron, who said "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets."