The Mail has learned that followers of Hugo Chavez are responsible for drilling for oil in one family's back garden.

Has the world gone mad? Followers of Hugo Chavez are drilling for oil in one family's back garden with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously, who said "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants"