The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is becoming ever more common, then we learn that followers of Hugo Chavez are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack followers of Hugo Chavez pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals was David Cameron who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..