The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks, all of them involving hunt sabateours.

In the glorious days of Lala from the teletubbies, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks, but nowadays thanks to hunt sabateours threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Our prisons are like holiday camps..