Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow gangs of black youths such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but gangs of black youths have this week been revealed as reading the works of Karl Marx.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps gangs of black youths would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Vince Cable who this week said, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that reading the works of Karl Marx is acceptable behaviour.