The Mail has learned that Al Qu’aeda bosses are responsible for setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack.

Has the world gone mad? Al Qu’aeda bosses are setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to The English People, who said "we are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense."