Enviro-Mental-ists have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals the Mail can exclusively reveal.

How long can this political correctness gone mad be tolerated by British people?

Jim Davidson said of enviro-Mental-ists, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

Enviro-Mental-ists made no comment about the accusations when we didn’t ask.