The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) is becoming ever more common, then we learn that youths are plotting to kidnap a senior royal every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack youths plotting to kidnap a senior royal was some bloke in the pub who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..