Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Communist-sympathisers have been engaging in steamy sex romps outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Engaging in steamy sex romps: The True Face Of Evil", Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells says, "make no mistake if this is allowed to continue Armageddon shall surely be upon us and woe betide all who would seek to impose upon us a surveillance society. For on that day the right shall inherit the Earth!".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for communist-sympathisers. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.