The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by is becoming ever more common, then we learn that hoodies are destabilising the British way of life every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack hoodies destabilising the British way of life was Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..