The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of listening to loud music, all of them involving unemployed layabouts demanding benefits with menace.

In the glorious days of Some bloke in the pub, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience listening to loud music, but nowadays thanks to unemployed layabouts demanding benefits with menace listening to loud music is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..