The Mail has learned that glue-sniffing teenagers are responsible for causing cancer.

Has the world gone mad? Glue-sniffing teenagers are causing cancer with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Bernard Manning, who said "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?"