With schools turning out a generation of illiterate hoodlums, crime threatening our every movement and a Government that treats criminals with kid gloves rather than forcibly immasculating them, is it any wonder that, once more cyber criminals have been listening to loud music?

What is needed is some very serious discipline. We can beat sense into cyber criminals - all it takes is a little British spunk, some backbone and a big stick.

Instead sickos, perverts and communists are allowed to crawl the streets with impunity. Listening to loud music must no longer be tolerated, especially when perpetrated by cyber criminals.

Speaking exclusively to the Mail about cyber criminals, James May said "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".