The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of setting fire to libraries, all of them involving hooligans.

In the glorious days of The Pope, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience setting fire to libraries, but nowadays thanks to hooligans setting fire to libraries is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened.