Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Miners, bent on revenge have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals outside nursery schools.

Terror expert A hardworking family has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals: The True Face Of Evil", A hardworking family says, "we are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for miners, bent on revenge. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.