Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Gangs of children, some still in their prams have been sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "the lady’s not for turning".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for gangs of children, some still in their prams. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.