Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Hooligans have been assisting asylum seekers outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Assisting asylum seekers: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for hooligans. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.