Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of listening to loud music has been perpetrated by insane Brussels bureaucrats.

The Mail can reveal that insane Brussels bureaucrats are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Jacob Rees-Mogg said of the insane Brussels bureaucrats, "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s.".