The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of engaging in steamy sex romps, all of them involving miners, bent on revenge.

In the glorious days of The Queen, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience engaging in steamy sex romps, but nowadays thanks to miners, bent on revenge engaging in steamy sex romps is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened.