The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that plotting to kidnap a senior royal is becoming ever more common, then we learn that the poor are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack the poor pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals was Theresa May who today said Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..