I’m not racist but surely allowing anarchists calling themselves the Wombles to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Causing obesity is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles aren’t causing obesity in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. Theresa May agrees with me, saying today, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.