Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow enviro-Mental-ists such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but enviro-Mental-ists have this week been revealed as immigrating.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps enviro-Mental-ists would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of John Major who this week said, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that immigrating is acceptable behaviour.