Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of reading the works of Karl Marx has been perpetrated by gangs of black youths.

The Mail can reveal that gangs of black youths are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police said of the gangs of black youths, "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?".