Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of causing cancer has been perpetrated by bleeding heart liberals.

The Mail can reveal that bleeding heart liberals are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Richard Littlejohn said of the bleeding heart liberals, "I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.".