Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Anarchists calling themselves the Wombles have been eating babies outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Some bloke in the pub has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Eating babies: The True Face Of Evil", Some bloke in the pub says, "surely something can be done?".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for anarchists calling themselves the Wombles. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.