Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone has been perpetrated by bleeding heart liberals.

The Mail can reveal that bleeding heart liberals are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Theresa May said of the bleeding heart liberals, "these dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs.".